How Direct Sales Pulled Me Out of the Momhole
Okay, mama’s. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been in the dreaded momhole. You know…that place where you’re so consumed by and exhausted from taking care of these little people, that you can’t even remember what your hobbies used to be. Sound familiar? Or maybe motherhood has changed you so much, that those things don’t even sound like they’d be all that fun any more. Or by the time you have a chance to actually go do them, all you want is a shower and a nap.
Maybe you’re in the momhole NOW. You miss the freedom, the spontaneity, actually using your brain for something stimulating, and maybe even a little bit of wrecklessness, but you also can’t imagine your life without your kids. Maybe you even have moments where you resent your kids or your spouse a little, even though you know that’s not logical. Maybe you try not to acknowledge that you miss some things from your life B.K. (before kids) because it makes you feel guilty, and NO ONE needs more mom guilt, am I right?
First of all, do NOT let that guilt creep in. Most of us had full, rewarding lives before having kids. Yes, raising tiny humans to be awesome adults is possibly the most fulfilling and rewarding thing anyone can do, but that’s really hard to remember and feel when you’re IN it. That also doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to miss all the awesome things you lost. Society has gotten to this place where the moment you’re a mom, suddenly no other part of your life is supposed to matter. How many times have you heard a mom say, “My kids are my whole WORLD”? How many times have you heard a dad say that? I mean, my kids are absolutely a HUGE part of my world, they’re one of my favorite parts of my world, and I would fight a fucking grizzly bear for them, but you guys…they aren’t the only thing I’ve got going on, and that’s ok. I don’t want my world to revolve solely around them, and I don’t want them to ever THINK it does!
I’ve felt that way, and it SUCKS. It’s like mourning the loss of your old self. THAT is the momhole. Not gonna lie, there are days where I fall back into it still. I am sure there always will be. One of the things I miss most about my life B.K. is the freedom to go anywhere and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Of course, I wasn’t jet setting to Paris at the drop of a hat, but just being able to go out to dinner without orchestrating plans and babysitters and timing was more luxurious than I ever realized. To take a 30 minute shower and spend an hour on my hair and makeup without anyone screaming for me, and without having to worry what a 3 year old is getting into. If I had 2 hours to groom myself these days, I wouldn’t even know what to do. I’d probably nap.
I also really missed being good at something. I have a degree. I had a career. I wasn’t the best at everything in life, but when I decided I wanted to succeed at something, I DID. I could choose to put time and effort into something and be damn good at it. I was great at my job. I had plenty to learn still, but I was learning. With motherhood, you can’t just choose to be good at it. Yeah, we all have those rare days where we are just rocking everything, but anyone who says they don’t constantly wonder if they’re screwing up their kids is a LIAR. Even when we ARE doing everything right, kids can be miserable jerks.
When I first got into direct sales, I had JUST finally decided I wasn’t going back to work from my maternity leave I kept dragging out, and all I needed to do was make enough to buy groceries and pay a couple bills. I was thrilled when I had replaced my full time income just months later, especially since I was only working about 6 hours per week. The income you can generate with this business is literally unlimited, and we very much NEED my Color Street paycheck to make ends meet, but the best thing this has done for me personally is given me my identity back. I’m a mom, but I’m also a badass business woman. This gives me something I can have some control over and choose to be really really good at. It reminds me that I’m SMART. Now, you don’t have to be a genius to be great at this, but damn it sure makes me feel like one sometimes! It’s amazing to be part of a company that empowers us to boldly be OURSELVES. It’s also given me the opportunity to travel ALONE, to leave my kids and husband at home, and go soak up knowledge, be there for my friends when they need me, or just have girl time where our faces hurt from laughing by the end of the weekend. This spring, I get to take a FREE cruise with some of my favorite people in the world. No kids or guests allowed. You guys! A boat with NO kids and no one you have to pay attention to or keep entertained! I’ll also be attending a leadership retreat soon. Again, soaking up knowledge and having girl time, without having to worry about making dinner, cleaning anything up, nap time, bed time, diapers, potty training, or forgetting my thrice reheated, stale, lukewarm coffee. I won’t have to hear the Paw Patrol theme song even ONCE all weekend!!!
Anyway, you guys get the point. Enough about ME. Tell me, are YOU in the momhole? Have you been in the momhole but found your way out? Share what has helped YOU!